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Posted 3/07/18 (Wed)


I’ve told you before, and I know you believe me, I’m not the brightest bulb in the closet. I proved it again this morning. I am snowed in at Jamestown. I’m not familiar with Jamestown, although people have suggested there is a place for me here.
Being a rather broke person, I searched for the cheapest motel I could find. $39.95 per night. That is reasonable. They don’t know about the Bakken here. I booked the room. There was ice on the toilet. I guess heat is extra. But I slept with my clothes and coat on and by morning it was pretty comfortable. The motel has several amenities. Is that what they are called? Free phone for local calls. Color TV. Free coffee from 6 until noon. I left before 6. Frostbite was setting in.
I had to find a place to write an article. Cheap motels do not have access to a business center. In fact, they did not have access to a credit card machine. Cash only. Took my beer money. I hate that. I’m sincerely glad they did not take body parts.
I’ve a friend who works at an office in Jamestown. I knew he would gladly allow me to use his computer. I used my handy dandy phone to find the address. This did not go real well. But after talking to the Lord a few times I found the address.
I typed the address into my phone.  A nice lady said take a right on 10th Street and proceed to 3rd Ave. SE.  That would be nice if I knew where 10th Street was. It wasn’t where I was starting. I hate that. No matter what I did, she wouldn’t say another word. I drove around. Stone silence. I divorced her.
I spoke into my phone. I gave it the address. The same lady answered. Take a right on 10th. I spoke to the Lord again. After driving in a blizzard for a half hour, my friend called. I asked how to get to his office. “Take a right on 10th.” I believe he is related to that lady in your phone.
But when I explained I didn’t know where 10th was, he asked if I knew where the IDK bar was. Now you are talking my language. I found it.
I have to tell you one more mouse story. My last one. I promise.  
I’ve a friend that fears mice more than I. And he is a big man. A horseshoer.
He was telling how one day he was sitting in his house and a mouse ran behind this heater he had in the living room. And he didn’t have a trap there. He did say that traps are disposable. He throws the trap and the mouse away if he catches one. My kind of guy.
Anyway, this mouse ran behind the heater. He sprang into action. He grabbed the cat. He tipped the heater forward and threw the cat down. The cat grabbed the mouse. The man grabbed the cat, screamed at his daughter to open the door, and heaved the cat, who was holding the mouse, out the door.  
Have you ever seen how far a cat bounces when thrown against a closed screen door? The cat got up shaking itself. The mouse laughed and ran down the hallway.