October 19, 2011



I enjoy reading. Newspapers, ag magazines, Louis L’Amour books. Labels on cereal boxes and various bottles. It doesn’t matter. I especially enjoy reading the help wanted ads. To see if I am qualified for anything. Because I haven’t decided what I want to do when I grow up. And lately with all of the oil activity, I keep thinking I should be able to find something to supplement my habits.
Came across an interesting job opening the other day. And I guess it points out why a lot of young people aren’t real interested in going into farming and ranching.
It was an ad for an Agricultural Research Technician near you. True story.
You had to have “Knowledge of farming operations and methods. Animal care including birthing, feeding, bedding, insemination, vaccination, and health observation. Equipment repair and maintenance. Feeds and animal identification and handling. Safety procedures.”
Not bad. I can do this.
“Skills and abilities to: Read, write, and follow detailed oral and written instructions. Accurately record research data. Feed, bed, weigh, observe, vaccinate, inseminate, and treat animals. Clean animal housing areas. Plant, care for, harvest, and bag plants and crops. Remove manure, grade roads, dress pens, mow, maintain grounds, and apply herbicide. Repair and maintain a variety of farming equipment, vehicles, and buildings. Operate heavy farming equipment. Obtain a valid driver’s license.”
So far I’m all right.
“Lift and carry up to 100 pounds. Complete farming activities by bending, lifting, walking, and climbing.”
And you have to do this in 12 months, working eight to five, with extended hours for seasonal stuff like lambing. And it paid $15,000. Wow!
Now, I don’t know about the rest of you, but by the time I did most of the stuff, I was too tired to walk, bend, and climb at the end of the week.
And I got to thinking that you’re getting starvation wages, while the guy giving you the oral and written instructions is probably getting four times that much. I think they should be looking for someone without a driver’s license. So if they get him or her there, he can’t leave.
Now, I always figured Shirley was pretty good help. She could do this. Oh, she would have a little trouble with the lifting 100 pounds. But she could make two trips. And the pay would be good, compared to what she is used to. The deadline for applications was Feb. 2, so if you want the job, you’re out of luck. But I’m willing to bet, they don’t have a big pile to go through, so maybe they would extend it. And I’m going to call them. Not to apply. But just to see if they have any extra guys or girls who can do all this. I could use some.
But while I was going through the ads, I found another one I am qualified for: Wanted! Fat people to lose 100 pounds!
Shirley says I am a natural!