February 20, 2013



Hear at last! Hear at last! Hear at last!
I know I’m no Martin Luther King, but that is how I feel lately. As many of you know, I’m a bit hard of hearing. Maybe quite a bit. Some say it was from shooting a rifle too much. Some doctors say it was from running those old John Deere two cylinder tractors at a young age. Mom always insisted it was because my ears were full of dirt. Maybe it’s hereditary. I don’t know. I suppose a lot of people probably said something that I just didn’t hear.
Years ago I wrote about a round of golf with my deaf partner, Fred. The round would go like, “What did you get on that hole?”
“We got back on Wednesday.”
“The roads were wet today?”
“I don’t think we have any roses!”
And those golfing with us would shake their heads and smile to themselves. For the most part, they were nice people that didn’t want to hurt our feelings.
A few years ago, I spent several thousand dollars on hearing aids. I wore them a few days and placed them in their little box and set them on the dresser. They have remained there for years. They did make things louder, but not the things I couldn’t hear. They just made the unintelligible louder. Which doesn’t do a person a lot of good.
Now, with new technology, they developed an aid that really helps! The first morning I wore them outside, I was feeding horses down at the barn. I kept hearing this chirp. I assumed it was a gate moving around in the wind. It wasn’t! Do you know sparrows make a sound? Really! I never knew that. I’ve heard crows and meadowlarks, but never a sparrow! Who would have thought?
And Shirley is really happy! Which is worth more than gold… Well, it’s worth a lot to me. Because now, when we watch TV, I am not constantly asking her, “What did they say?”
Now on these hearing aids. I have a 30-day trial before I have to pay for them. So I intend to try them out in some social settings at happy hour this afternoon. Just for research. I’m getting on toward Social Security age and I don’t want to invest in something unless I am dang sure it will work.
I’m kind of like that horse that Billy was selling. Horse was fast! Billy said he was so fast that if you ran him home, he would beat his shadow to the barn by five minutes! If you ran him hard, the wind made your eyes water and the tears would sting your ears as they blew off! He was super fast! He had only one flaw, Billy said. He didn’t look too good.
A neighbor of mine bought the horse. When he got him home, he realized the horse was blind!
He drove out to Billy’s and accused him of being a crooked horse trader.
Billy vehemently denied it. “I told you he didn’t look too good!”
Listen! Shirley is calling!