March 11, 2014



I suppose a lot of you were glued to the TV a couple weeks ago as the Winter Olympics were being televised. I enjoyed some of it. I enjoyed the Gold Medal game in the women’s hockey. I kind of like the luge. I’m kind of like the Jamaicans. I think I could learn to do that. And they say weight is an advantage going down a hill in a sled. I could win gold.
Shirley likes the figure skating.
Which takes me back a long, long time, to a country far, far away…
All this talk about ice-skating, so Shirley and I decided to try it. I called into Watford to see if we could use the hockey rink for our pair routine. They didn’t think the ice was thick enough (Shirley and I are pretty healthy). So I took the loader tractor and scraped off a spot on the dam out on the flat. We didn’t have ice skates, but I thought we were probably safer with just overshoes on anyway. At least until we got a little practice in. Shirley was pretty nervous about our lifts and spins anyway. I assured her if those skinny little guys in tights could skate around with a woman held high over their head, I was pretty sure a 260 pound (remember this was written years ago) man would have no trouble.
After several days of arguing, I finally convinced Shirley that the only thing that could save our marriage was to try this. We looked for outfits to wear and finally agreed on matching Carhartts with black engineer caps. Black, lace up, boot overshoes adorned our feet. Brand new Handy Andy gloves, with red and black neck-kerchiefs for a finishing touch. Wish you could see a picture of this! Had one. Shirley destroyed it. Said it would be published over her dead body. She’s part Irish you know.
Out to the dam we went! Chained up the 4-wheel drive and drove right out on the ice. Had to get the pickup close so we could hear the radio. Achy-Breaky Heart came on the radio. Shirley had trouble keeping up with me on that one. It was wilder than a New Hradec New Year’s Eve!
Anyway, she was getting pretty tired, and I guess my grip was weakening. We were doing that thing where you swing the girl around with her head just about on the ice when my Handy Andy’s slipped off! Off the ice and over the spillway she went! I tiptoed to the edge and peeked over. All I could see was the south end of her Carhartts sticking out of a huge drift. I guess maybe I shouldn’t have laughed.
I’m just starting to see out of one eye the last few days. She made Tanya Harding look like one of the Andrews sisters!
Now I’m trying to talk her into entering that Extreme Fighting thing that is so popular. But again, it’s going to take some doing!