June 3, 2014



I know a lot of stuff about nothing. I mean, I can answer some of the questions on Millionaire. I can get one once in a while on Jeopardy. I can usually do about six deals on a crossword puzzle. I know a little bit about sports. A little bit about politics. A little geography. Well, very little. It changes too much. Again, I know a little stuff about a lot of nothing. Nothing that helps me make a living.
Now, I know, you are wondering what this is about. Today, I am going to delve into a world I know nothing about. Electricity. I know nothing about electricity. Ordinarily, this isn’t a problem. But when the lights in the upstairs don’t work for a couple weeks. And when cattle get shocks when they are trying to drink from the tanks. And the tanks freeze up when the temperature is 40 above. Something is wrong.
I remember hearing stories years ago. About the time when the rural electrics were established. And farmers and ranchers were going to receive power for the first time. Stories of guys who stuck corn cobs in the light fixtures so the electricity wouldn’t run out while they went to town and got bulbs. Stories of guys who stuck cords in old ice boxes to turn them into refrigerators. That’s the way I am. Electricity is like magic. It’s best if you don’t understand it.
The first thing I do when checking electricity is get Will and Shirley. They don’t know anything either. But they usually will listen.
Like the other day. I told Will I had the power off to the tank. “Just reach in there and take those wires out and we’ll put in new heating elements.” Evidently, the fuse I removed went somewhere else. It’s hard to get him to do that twice.
And I am pretty careful. Like when Shirley was worried about the horses drinking from this tank. Cause horses don’t like to be shocked when they are drinking water. So Shirley tells me she doesn’t think the horses are drinking. So she wants me to reach in and check to see if they are getting a shock. Now I may have been born at night, but not last night. So, I grab this steel rod and reach in to check the tank. I tell you what. I know how those bulls feel when you test them.
But that’s another story.
And the power upstairs. Well, that’s kind of difficult. There are snakes in the basement. And that is where the breaker box is. And there are mice in the attic. Cause that is where the cats ain’t. And there are old wires and new wires running all over. I mean all over. So, in times like this I weakened. I called an electrician. Well, he’s not really an electrician. He’s a farmer with some tools. He looked it all over. Stuck a little tape on some bare wires he found. And suggested I buy more smoke alarms.
I like living on the edge.