July 1, 2014



I’m not a lot of help around the house. And some would venture to opine that I’m not a lot of help outside either. But, I can lift heavy objects.
Shirley always plants a garden. I guess you would say I am like the grasshopper in the fable that won’t help but figures he will share in the bounty.
Now, in spite of what you may have been led to believe, I’m not real smart. Especially about garden stuff. You may think I know a little, because I’ve farmed quite a bit over the years. I grow mostly weed. Er, weeds. Weed is illegal. Weeds are troublesome, but not illegal. My son, Will, takes care of the weeds. He knows how to operate the sprayer. I do not. And Shirley takes care of the garden. She says I don’t know asparagus from spurge. Go figure. I was 25 years old before I found out that pickles were cucumbers! Really! You didn’t know that? Well, I’m sorry I had to be the one to tell you.
Anyway, Shirley’s garden is looking pretty good. She started bringing radishes in the other day. Radishes. Who would bother planting radishes? You clean them up a little, sprinkle them with salt, and eat them. I guess just to get the salt. I’d rather do it with tequila and salt on my hand. But then, I’m just a bit different. She actually had a radish sandwich for lunch! Really! Sliced up radishes on bread!
I do look forward to the tomato harvest. Then we have tomatoes on toast for breakfast. Grilled tomato slices for dinner. Tomato soup for supper. BLTs for breakfast. BLTs for lunch. BLTs for dinner.
Tomato salsa and chips. Tomato juice. Tomatoes in the lunch bucket to eat like an apple. Tomato pie and tomato ice cream. She can really grow tomatoes. I’m starting to hate them.
Rhubarb. Now what good can you say about rhubarb? Even the grasshoppers won’t eat rhubarb. You can put it in a pie, cover it with sugar, and make it somewhat edible, but why? Just take the pie crust, sprinkle a little cinnamon and sugar on it. And leave the weed off.
Makes sense to me. You ever notice how rhubarb looks like cocklebur plants? Must be a close cousin.
And another thing while I’m on this food kick. Cranberries.
Why would people raise cranberries? We use a couple cans at Thanksgiving. Everyone takes a couple berries and the rest sit in the fridge for a couple weeks before I throw them away. Even the growers know people don’t like cranberries. They mix them with every other juice they can think of to make them presentable.
Oh well, no thanks, just bring me my juice neat.
Dang it, it’s the end of June and I have to cover the garden.
Wind is 60 mph and Shirley says it could shell the beans.