July 5, 2016


I suppose you are getting tired of my bull! I mean my bull stories. I promise this will be the last one for the year. Unless something else happens.
You remember my make-believe friend, Shannon? I’ve written about him before when we partnered on a bull deal. And a couple of other stories.
I mentioned to Shannon that I had lost a bull about turn-out time. For some reason he hung around for 10 months and then, when I was about to turn him out, he died. Seems to happen every year. Not to the same bull.
Well, Shannon mentioned it to his friend John that I needed a two-year-old bull. John works at the livestock sales yard. John likes to buy cattle. And being the good friend that he is, he called me. He reported that a guy had dropped off a good two-year-old bull that he didn’t need. The bull had tested good and was of fine heritage. I said to buy the two-year-old bull that day.
John called later. He had bought two one-year-old bulls instead. I didn’t need yearlings, but I talked it over with Shannon and he said he would take one and sell me a two-year-old of his.
But we had to devise a way to split the two yearlings that John had bought us.
Now one of these bulls was pretty good. And the other was pretty bad. He had a long head, a hump back, crooked legs, and a little narrow butt. If his calves were born backwards and upside down, they had a chance. A normal delivery could be a problem.
I suggested we shake dice to see who got first pick. But we didn’t have a dice cup. So Shannon decided we would play cards. He wouldn’t play a normal game, because I have soundly defeated him in pinochle and poker. We would do something that relied strictly on luck. Cut for the deal, and then play three hands of seven-card stud showdown. Just flip the cards up and see who won.
I whipped him in two hands. I took the good bull.
Now we had to brand them.
My bull walked in the chute and stood there quietly. When we were done, he walked quietly out of the chute and onto my trailer.
Then we had to brand Shannon’s bull.
When we walked in the pen, the bull threw his head up and watched us carefully. He was a little bit flighty. We got him in the chute and Shannon commenced to branding him.
All of a sudden Shannon let out a scream and dropped to the ground! The bull had got a leg out of the chute and kicked him in the belly. His belly does stick out there a bit to make a pretty good target.
He lay there on the ground moaning and groaning. His shirt was ripped to shreds. He had a big hoofprint on his big belly and a gash across the top of it like you were doing a C-section.
When he had quit screaming, I mentioned that it was lucky I was there and the iron was still hot. I told him I could sear that wound so it wouldn’t bleed. I don’t have any medical training but I have seen this done on lots of movies.
Shannon said “bad words!” I don’t think we are going to partner on any more cattle deals.