February 27, 2019



Remember the controversy just before Christmas? About a song. The song “Baby It’s Cold Outside.” People were complaining it was sexist. I didn’t care. It is my favorite Christmas song. Although you don’t hear a lot of it in church or when people are out caroling. Or maybe I’ve just missed it. Anyway, baby it’s cold outside. And it looks like it is going to stay cold well into calving season.  
You would think after 70 years, I would have learned to calve later. I’ve told you about my fencing ability. You just try to keep bulls in a poor fence come June.
I guess I’ve heard it said a jillion times. My mother. My grandmother. My wife.
At one time or another they have all said it. “Men are so dumb.” I’ve argued over the years. But I’ve lost a month’s wages in two minutes betting two pair. I’ve bought cars and pickups that depreciated $10,000 when I drove them off the lot. I traded a mule for a pig. I bought spruce lumber cause it was better than pine. I sell when things are cheap and buy when things are high. I’ve driven up to mail letters and discovered the mail is still on the kitchen table. I’ve taken the garbage out several times to discover, all I brought was the matches to burn it with. I’ve forgotten birthdays and wedding anniversaries. I gave my wife Weight Watchers for Christmas. But I’ve always maintained that men are superior beings. Yeah, right.
Several years ago I got to run the ranch alone. Both Shirley and Will were gone. I could do chores at my own leisurely pace. I could check the last heifer when I dang well pleased. I could cut back on the grain for the saddle horses, and feed the bucking horses a little extra. I left the lid up on the toilet and didn’t brush my teeth. Life was good.
I only had one chore that Shirley said had to be done properly. Her mare, Maxi, was about ready to foal. And the forecast was for a cold rain. My instructions were to grain Maxi and Pic in the barn so they would be in a warm, dry spot if they foaled. Any fool can do that.
Well, I got back from checking cows right at dark. Fed the fat cattle, checked the heifer, grained the bucking colts, fed the cats and dogs, and the last thing I did, grain Maxi and Pic in the barn. Closing the door behind them, so they could foal in a nice, dry place.
I was so proud. I slept like a baby. Shirley called about five in the morning. Checking to see things were done properly. I assured her all was well. I had several cups of coffee, made all my morning calls and proceeded to do chores.
I fed the fat cattle, checked the heifer, grained the bucking colts, fed the cats and dogs, and went over to feed Maxi and Pic.
When I entered the barn, they were whinnying and waiting to go outside. Even before they were grained. I knew horses were dumb. I opened the barn door to let them out, and ….there stood a baby colt, cold and wet, nursing on a plank fence. Shirley says men are so dumb. I think Maxi and her colt would probably agree.
And I’ll tell you another thing. I never have to worry about being the mare checker again.
Stay warm.