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Posted 2/14/18 (Wed)


The luge. I think I’ll try the luge.
I enjoy watching the Winter Olympics. More so than the Summer Olympics. I suppose it’s because as a kid I was really slow. I wasn’t a track and field guy. If you see me running, it’s not me. I did run if a cow was after me, or a mouse. But I just couldn’t see running if nothing was chasing you. I picked rock, so I abhorred lifting for fun.  
But now Winter Olympics, they are different. It’s something I can understand. It’s a lot like home. Especially in South Korea. Because it is so much like home. It is bitterly cold. And windy. Every time they give the sports highlights, you can see those flags whipping in the wind. I even put my long underwear on to watch the downhill!
The opening ceremony was tremendous. Those guys know how to put on an event! If you watched the Super Bowl and Justin Timberlake, you know what I mean. Don’t ever get to thinking that the U.S. is leading the world in technological advances.  We may be keeping up, but that is it.
Back to the luge. Do you remember when Shirley and I got enthused about the figure skating? And we went out on the stock dam and danced to “Achy Breaky Heart?” With the Carhartt coveralls and Handy Andy gloves?
Well, we don’t do that anymore.  What with Shirley’s bad knees and all. But I am kind of looking for another dance partner, so don’t count me out in 2022.
So I have been looking for another event that I could participate in. The 5,000-meter speed skating is out. The announcer said that the last few laps, even your fingernails and tip of your hair scream in pain! That is not for me. Ski jumping and the downhill are out. I’ve never gone down a mountain with sticks tied to my feet. And I’m not going to start now. Ice skating is out. Weak ankles and I hit my head on the ice real hard in 1954 and said never again. Four-man bobsled is out. I’m too big to fit in with anyone else.
But the luge. I mean how hard can that be. You jump on a sled and go down a chute with sides. That’s it. There is no steering wheel like a racecar. You don’t have to do anything but hang on! Oh, you have to paddle with your arms the first few feet, but I think I can do that.
And can you imagine, once I got rolling, or sliding down that chute! I mean just the law of physics (which by the way I failed in college) would show you that once you get a huge mass moving, it will pick up speed exponentially as gravity pulls it. I suppose that is why I failed.  Maybe I’m wrong there. But it seems to me that a 270-pound guy, versus a 135-pound guy, would go twice as fast.
I’m building a sled in the shop this afternoon. I’ll keep you posted.