taoCMS™ Demo Site: Columnists

Home » Columnists »



Posted 1/20/10 (Wed)


I guess there is nothing like a January thaw to put a smile on a rancher’s face. With the change in the wind chill, we are looking at nearly a one hundred degree change from last week. From wind chills around fifty below, to temps in the mid forties! All of a sudden the hay pile looks a little bigger, and the cows a little fuller. Life is good!
A few cowboys and cowgirls are saddling up rope horses and barrel horses and pretending that summer is here! I’m even eyeballing a couple of colts that are going to need some riding one of these days, and worrying if Shirley’s knees are healed up enough to take the rough off of them. Hope so, cause I dang sure don’t want to do it.
There is nothing that makes a fat guy wish he had worked a little harder over the winter than crawling on a cold-backed horse on a frosty morning. A horse that has been eating a little grain and not doing a lick of work all winter. It makes your stomach tie up in a knot. And for me, that is a pretty darn big knot.
Or, you can take them out behind the barn, where no one can see you, tie your reins up, and sic the dogs on them. It’s not the best way to get a horse gentled, but a couple of trips around the pen with the dogs helping, darn sure gets the hump out of their back!
And now, for some reason, horse sales just popped into my head!
And I was afraid I had writer’s block.
So, I am going to give you the true meaning of things said at a horse sale.
When the seller says, “The only reason we’re selling him is we have too many young horses at home,” he really means this horse is not as good as the ones we have left.
When the seller says, “He’s been ridden about thirty days,” he means the horse has been saddled a few times and acted like you could get through the ring on him.
When the seller says, “Broke to death, but I wouldn’t recommend him for kids,” he means Brad Gjermundsen couldn’t ride him when he blows up.
When the seller says, “ If you want a horse that will go all day,” he means this horse will run off with you and ain’t going to stop.
When the seller says, “You can catch him in the pasture,” he means the horse won’t come in for grain and you have to go out in the pasture to find him.
When the seller says, “He’s a little cold-backed, but all right once you get going,” means when he usually just bucks you off once in the morning, then he’s all right the rest of the day.
When the seller says, “He’s broke to ground tie,” he means don’t tie this bugger up to anything, cause he’ll halter pull like nothing you have ever seen.
When the seller says, “He’s started on barrels,” he means he shies at the garbage barrel when he goes out of the yard.
And that reminds me of a story I just heard. Willard was the auctioneer and pedigree man at a horse sale in Dickinson years ago.
Now, Willard could brag up a horse like no one else in the country. This one old boy comes in on this bay horse. He’s riding this horse around and Willard starts giving the history on this old boy and this horse. He tells how broke this horse is. How he can bring a cow into the yard when she’s calving. He tells how the wife can use this horse in the Fourth of July parade. He tells how you can pack calves and kids on this horse. This horse is the real deal.
The guy riding him, finally looks up at Willard and stops him. Willard  asks, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” the guy replies. “But he sounds so good, I decided not to sell him!”